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Kids have so much energy because they siphon it out of their parents like midget gasoline thieves.

Funny Family Ecard: 'Mommy, watch this!!!' is the toddler equivalent of 'Hold my beer.' It usually means something stupid and dangerous is about to take place.

Funny Family Ecard: 'Mommy, watch this!!!' is the toddler equivalent of 'Hold my beer.' It usually means something stupid and dangerous is about to take place.

Yes, I know I'm the meanest mom in the world. They made me sign a contract before I could bring you home from the hospital.

Yes, I know I'm the meanest mom in the world. They made me sign a contract before I could bring you home from the hospital.

Yes. I am still in my pajamas. What did I accomplish today? The kids are still alive. Say thank you. Now...say I'm pretty.

Yes. I am still in my pajamas. What did I accomplish today? The kids are still alive. Say thank you. Now...say I'm pretty.

.This is such a battle for date night....hahahaha!

.This is such a battle for date night....hahahaha!

At my funeral, when they're lowering me into the ground, I demand they play.. 'Drop it like it's hot'.

At my funeral, when they're lowering me into the ground, I demand they play.. 'Drop it like it's hot'.

You ask your husband to do the dishes, he suddenly has to poop..Hahahaha!

You ask your husband to do the dishes, he suddenly has to poop..Hahahaha!

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