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Shit will happen, and when it does, you better have a shovel.

Shit will happen, and when it does, you better have a shovel.

Shit. That doesn't look like an Ipod or an Ipad. Looks like I'll have to do this 'play outside' thing they keep telling me about. Assholes.

That doesn't look like an Ipod or an Ipad. Looks like I'll have to do this 'play outside' thing they keep telling me about.

Haha, yes. Sometimes I feel obligated to check on them. XD

Not sure....

Not sure if screaming kids outside are having fun. or being murdered.

I'm hoping for your birthday you want some birthday sex. If not my efforts have been wasted.

Practice blowing these candles first and then you can blow me. It's my gift to you.

Text Message Classic!

No, I got your text messages. I just really did not feel like replying. So me, I hate texting

Wonder what kind of music the "liquor truck" would play going down the street. Techno?

Since kids get an ice cream truck. can adults have a liquor truck? With a great wine selection?

Me, work? Oh no honey, I'm paid a lot of money to delegate it all to you. But don't worry, I'll make sure I take credit for doing it all!

Me, work? Oh no honey, I'm paid a lot of money to delegate it all to you. But don't worry, I'll make sure I take credit for doing it all!

Why did I get you a ladder for your birthday? Because it's obvious you need help getting over yourself.

Why did I get you a ladder for your birthday? Because it's obvious you need help getting over yourself.

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