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Sometimes I think, 'Screw this... I'll just be a stripper!' Then I remember I'm fat... and can't dance.

Sometimes I think, 'Screw this. I'll just be a stripper!' Then I remember I'm fat. and can't dance. OK so I would never be a stripper but I love it!

Oh Hell. It is officially boob sweat season.

Free, Confession Ecard: Oh Hell. It is officially boob sweat season.

Choosing the perfect outfit for one night can destroy an entire room.

Funny Confession Ecard: Choosing the perfect outfit for one night can destroy an entire room.

Oh I'm in a 'pissy mood'... Sorry that rainbows and gumdrops aren't flying out of my ass today!

Sorry to those who had to deal with me yesterday & today. Oh I'm in a 'pissy mood'. Sorry that rainbows and gumdrops aren't flying out of my ass today!

I don't understand how some women have 20 plus bridesmaids. I don't even like that many people. | Wedding Ecard | someecards.com

and I am sure the bride with 20 bridesmaids doesn't have 20 real girlfriends

Dear Fairy Godmother, Think you could bippity-boppity-boo me back to 17 years old and that awesome body I thought was fat? Thanks.

Dear Fairy Godmother, Think you could bippity-boppity-boo me back to 17 years old and that awesome body I thought was fat? Thanks. Yeah all of this would be so much easier

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