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The proverbial "leap of faith" is actually the size of a mustard seed. Keep going. And by the way, look at St. Augustine. Don't become disheartened that you made bad choices in the past; make the best choice you ever made by turning to the Lord-- watch as the Lord, through the Sacraments, reorients your life and puts a lot of broken pieces back together.
its starts from you, so believe what I know... you are amazing! After all I know you best and I see what you may not, so until you see it too, let me give you the words of encouragement you need, the hand to hold, and the shoulder to lean on! I love you both!