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I drink coffee because I need it and wine because I deserve it!

I hate slow walkers!! And they ALWAYS have to walk side by side, even if theres 100 of them, blocking the way so you cant get past!!

This has happened to me too many times.

Twitter / raubrey: Two of the great unexplained mysteries of life.

True that. There would be no way...that one looks poisonous. TT^TT

Stole this from shaina..the girl who brought m&ms; into my hotel room on my wedding day..and ordered me a pizza. A girl after my own heart!

... and for some reason, it's equally rude to tell the kid to behave as it is to tell the parents to handle their offspring.

Yes, yes, yes! This would be so awesome!

True that . . . . I used to work with a night shift manager decades ago who thought he was 'God's gift to Womanhood' so, of course, I HAD to be interested in him, right? Oh how wrong he was....so I learned I had to have comebacks for those jerks who were like him.

I don't always vacuum but when I do 90% of the time is spent trying to suck up something big enough I can do it with my hands