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I honestly want to go to therapy because of this. And I think my IQ dropped at least 90 points

"The adventures of George Washington" some of these are so funny!

You don’t understand mom - Lizzie (But, Sweetie, if you have light up shoes on your feet the police will be able to find you when it is dark!!) - Mom But mom, I will be so fast they wont see me- Sincerely, your light up shoes deprived kid

I don't care whether or not I'm invited, NOTHING WILL STAND IN MY WAY.

"Do you ever hate someone so much but don't even have a valid reason"

Captain Sparrow vs. Iron Man...

The thing I love is that he probably knew this and didn't need any sort of fact checking or research

I thought this was gonna end differently, more badly- not that I'm complaining about this though XD

YES! This is hilarious!

Haha, Wow! I actually would probably do the same thing. :-)

Baby sleeping positions...can't stop laughing! "The Stalker" is my fave!