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My husband said I woke up and slapped him one night and the next morning I told him I had a dream he cheated on me.

hahaha some times...

I don't hate people.yeah I do. I fucking hate people

Girls on their period - funny pictures - funny photos - funny images - funny pics - funny quotes -

Bwahaha-- I HAVE to do this!!!

Free, Courtesy Hello Ecard: when your phone rings private answer it "Greg's Sperm Bank. You spank it. We bank it!" I bet they hang up on u!

...

Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.My silence is my passive aggressive self speaking out loud :)

Classy women don't have one night stands, we have auditions. You didn't get a callback.

Free, Confession Ecard: Classy women don't have one night stands, we have auditions. You didn't get a callback.

Dear KJ! This is me tomorrow: so don't wake me!

I'm playing that game where the floor is made lava,so I obviously can't get out of my bed or I'll die

When Mommy finally gets up to spank your butt, that's when you know... Shit just got real.

and in my house it was Dad. Mom spanking was expected, but Dad? Oh no, you better run.

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Yeah, I'll take the no kids. Thanks. With Kids VS Without Kids: Eating Breakfast

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