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Hotpoint's Swing-Door Portable: And if your children can do it blindfolded, then you have raised them well!

Mr. Leggs Pants: Because nothing says a nice pair of pants like a woman's head sewn to a tiger skin carpet.

Pitney-Bowes Postage Meter: Ha! Don't we all wish we could murder people sometimes? What on earth did this woman do? Put too many of those darned 4c stamps on a postcard again! Being the woman she is, maybe she put another letter in the post with no stamps at all. Buying this product will save lives.

Gillette Safety Razor: No one wants a bearded baby. The blade is so safe you can run it down your son's soft baby neck.

Yes, babies and cigarettes... Because what every baby needs is a mom puffing away right by them!

Tipalet Flavored Cigarettes: There's nothing quite as sexy as a strange man blowing second hand smoke in your eyes. You better run, girl, because that man is blowing cancer all up in your face. Ah, the good ole days, when people could sell you things that slowly kill you, while making them seem oh so sexy.

Burning Boy @Fearghas MacGregor and @Regan Leahy check this out...MacGregor's fire retardant shorts!

DuPont Cellophane: Mommy is so happy when she buys Du Pont Cellophane. It makes her postpartum depression just fade away...

Unnamed Shoe Ad: We all know exactly where she belongs: Naked, on the floor, watching a shoe. All day long. That'll teach her!

Although I never wear a tie to bed, one can´t argue that without it, he´d just look like a douche.

:::::::::: Vintage Photograph :::::::::: Adore this photo of three happy boys by Frank Meadow Sutcliffe