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Impressive

It is impressive that you are flexible enough to have your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass all at the same time. Maybe one day I will say this to someone ha ha

I'm not saying you're a slut, but you've put more balls in your mouth than the Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Funny Thinking of You Ecard: I'm not saying you're a slut, but you've put more balls in your mouth than the Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Ecard - running motivation funny card

funny quotes ecards running with you clown chasing us bloody knife margaritas finish line

This would be funnier if it weren't true....

Congrats on getting away with stuff I would get fired for. This would be funnier if it wasn't true.

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Funny Confession Ecard: I can't cook & hate to clean, but I'm certain my expertise in sarcasm & raiding the Target clearance section makes me a rare gem. This is me.

I thought I was a good person until I started to read all these mean ecards & was like 'that's totally me!' Now I see what an ass.

I thought I was a good person until I started to read all these mean ecards & was like 'that's totally me'. Now I see what an asshole I really am.

Your ridiculous photos and overly happy statuses aren't fooling anyone!  And you know who you are!

Just calling to remind you that I know you in real life. Remind you of someone?

I often find myself contemplating if punching you in the face would be worth loosing my job. Most days the answer is yes.

A pinner posted: "I often find myself contemplating if punching you in the face would be worth losing my job. Most days the answer is yes." Is loosing your job worse than losing it?

My love is NOT unconditional.

"My love is not unconditional. The terms are: You not being an asshole." Unless you are my cat. Then it really is unconditional, you little asshole.

Our break up was due to religious differences. He thought he was God. I didn't.

Our breakup was due to religious differences. He thought he was God, I didn't. I am SO done because it's SO true

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