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You'll always be a first round pick in my weekend drinking draft.

Drinking

Fun Quote: You'll always be a first round pick in my weekend drinking draft.

Your dumb shit is what makes me want to get tanked at 11 am.

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: Your dumb shit is what makes me want to get tanked at 11 am.

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: I don't sugar coat bitch, do I look like fucking Willy Wonka?

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: I dont sugar coat bitch, do I look like fucking Willy Wonka?

Flirting with my Boyfriend-- don't have this problem, thank god, but this is something that I would think! Ha

You think flirting with my boyfriend is cute? Wait until you see how cute it is when I punch you in your stupid looking face, bitch.

And they will know they were conceived via raunchy sex one day.

Fifty Shades Of Funny: The Best Of The 50 Shades Of Grey (good thing I havent read it!

I may throw in some Clorox wipes and a Swiffer. But I doubt it.

Today ill be cleaning and by cleaning I mean

Funny Encouragement Ecard: Today, Ill be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying all my shit with Febreeze.

liquid-cleanse-alcohol-weekend-ecards-someecards

Funny Weekend Ecard: Let's do a liquid cleanse with alcohol.

I wasn't that drunk last night

I wasn’t that drunk last night! Dude, you congratulated a potato for getting a part in Toy Story!

glamour-magazine-friends-brunch-friendship-ecards-someecards http://www.kellyseal.com/independence-baby/

Funny Friendship Ecard: It's not brunch with the girls unless one of us is in the clothes from the night before.

Fireball whiskey told me to dance one night...bad idea!

Fireball whiskey did not whisper temptations in my ear. It shouted, 'BITCH, YOU GONNA ACT A FOOL!' so true luke bryan, florida Georgia line 2013

Serving my drinks in these tiny glasses is only creating more work for you. Now go and fetch me something more bucket-ish

Sunday morning all you can drink Mamosas. Just bring a pitcher. Seriously, I promise we are going to drink way more than one glass.

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Funny Cry For Help Ecard: Let's help each other get through this unpleasant interlude between Monday morning hangovers and Thursday night drinking.

25 Funny and Sarcastic Pregnancy ECards

25 Funny and Sarcastic Pregnancy ECards

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