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my dad.. and also it's.... "why are you texting him?" "what are you talking about?" "how long have you been texting?"

So true. This is how I feel when I think of all the preparation that goes into getting myself and children ready to leave the house.

Yep- when my husband isn't at home, that's so me!

If this isnt the truest depiction of alcohol Ive ever read.... LOL!! Honest Alcohol Labels

Funny Confession Ecard: My Pinterest account looks like I am going to be very fit, very fat or very, very drunk.

Life isn't a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight you might want to slow down on the tequila.

Funny Breakup Ecard: I realized you were unstable when I saw your toilet paper rolls facing the wrong way.

Sometimes I look at my husband and think... 'You are one lucky son of a bitch.'

My heart has no room for you but the trunk of my car definitely does.

I swear, I'm not anti-social, I just have a very low tolerance for idiots.