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    Golden Girls 30th Anniversary: Quotes From The Golden Girls

    If I woke up in the morning & nothing hurt, I would think I was dead.

    I'd shave my legs for you!!! LOL!

    Relationship status: Avocado

    Looks like the hot nights are over. But enough about my SEX LIFE.


    Mood Swings

    Everything I like is either expensive, fattening or won't text me back.

    Write that bitch a sonnet. Bitches love sonnets.

    Just fat

    I'd jump up and down for joy, but my boobs are just way too big for that nonsense.

    I paid my psychiatrist to follow me on facebook..

    This happens every time!

    I love you with all my butt, I would say heart, but my butt is bigger.

    Farts are just the ghosts of the things we ate.

    There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere.

    Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

    Karma's about to give you a great big kiss!

    Being a person is getting too complicated. Time to be a unicorn.

    I don't understand why you pay a shrink. I'll tell you what's wrong with you for free.

    Me? Crazy?

    Go sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up here.

    How's that working out?

    I thought 2015 was going to be my year but clearly that ship has sailed.

    Ha Ha Ha!