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I can tell by your sarcastic undertones, rude comments and sheer lack of common decency, that you and I could be best friends.

I can tell by your sarcastic undertones, rude comments and sheer lack of common decency, that you and I could be best friends.

Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill and not doing it because you'd miss them!

Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill and not doing it because you'd miss them!

I'm not calling you a 'slut'. I am calling you a 'penny'-because you are two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.

I'm not calling you a 'slut'. I am calling you a 'penny'-because you are two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.

Gettind ready for work like ...

40 TOTALLY Sarcastic Quotes for When Work Is Beating You Down

Please don't take my silence as agreement in your little rant you had there.  I just prefer to watch "crazy" in silence.

Please don't take my silence as agreement in your little rant you had there. I just prefer to watch "crazy" in silence.

We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.

We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.