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Hey I won't be in today...I have Anal Glaucoma... I can't see my ass coming into work.

28 Funny Pictures to Nerd Out On

28 Funny Pictures to Nerd Out On Check more at http://8bitnerds.com/28-funny-pictures-to-nerd-out-on/

If I had a nickel for every time I heard you say something stupid, I'd have a sock full of nickels to beat you with... - Click image to find more hot Pinterest pins

12 Funny Quotes for Today

I especially like what I call "The 5 minute slap". You sarcastically call somebody out, and they don't understand it for 5 or more minutes...then when they finally do, they go, "hey, wait a minute!", but it's long over by then…!!