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I named my hard drive dat ass so once a month my computer asks me if I want to back 'dat ass' up.

I was walking by this guy I hate and he goes "Did you just swear?" And I turn to him and go "How about I break off your legs and shove them up your ass?" He just walked away with a weird face and my friend comes up to me and she's like "What's up with him?"And I say "I have no fuckin' idea!"

The Online Retailer Networkfrom The Online Retailer Network

Online Retailer Network

I would give anything to say this, pretty much on a daily basis...

Free, Breakup Ecard: By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you the biggest disappointment of my life... You may now kiss my ass.

Funny Music Ecard: What if rappers rapped about nice things? Like, 'Girl I'm gonna take your clothes off... and hang them neatly in the closet, yeeaah.'

17 “Someecards” That Are Too Sassy For Their Own Good