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So, a question I receive on this video is the part about making the 4 yr old 'in charge.' I am often teaching that children feel comforted by knowing their parents are in charge... so how to reconcile this? What I get out of this is let the 4 yr old be in charge when they are connected. Children actually make incredibly good decisions when they are CONNECTED. Letting a 4 yr old be 'in charge' when they are disconnected is a disaster and that's when parents are likely to give in and give up.