Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life...

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life...

Honey, can you pick up Pizza? I've been busy pinning nutritious recipes for our family all day.

Honey, can you pick up Pizza? I've been busy pinning nutritious recipes for our family all day.

Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down.  That's like shooting someone then telling them to not bleed.

Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. That's like shooting someone then telling them to not bleed.

You may be prettier, skinnier and tanner than I am, but I out-boob you on every level.

You may be prettier, skinnier and tanner than I am, but I out-boob you on every level.

 I'm pretty sure pajamas are a requirement at Wal-Mart. I never follow the rules!

I'm pretty sure pajamas are a requirement at Wal-Mart. I never follow the rules!

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