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I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, but if you continue to scream like that I'm going to act like I don't know you.

Whenever I delete an app on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel that they're panicked over who's getting cut from the team.

haha! I have to make sure my daughter knows when I go because she has to be in there. Otherwise she freaks out and bangs on the door til I let her in! kids ...

Funny Anniversary Ecard: Being married is like having a best friend who doesn't remember anything you say.

Will cocktails be served at your daughter's princess party or shall I tailgate in your driveway?

Lmfao! This is so true...and just a little sad for an OCD neat freak such as myself. :(

It appears that autocorrect has become my worst enema. | Workplace Ecard | someecards.com

SERIOUSLY. I bought a mouthgaurd thing the day after the class. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have it. As several instructors have told me, "Those people are collapsing for a reason, if it's contagious you don't want it!".

Mostly because I'm hilarious.

If you want to drive a girl insane simply delete her Pinterest page. It's like destroying her memories, hopes & desires. -Dane Cook.

Adult Tetris - so true! And just as with Tetris, I am the only one in the house who does this correctly. This makes it more fun