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I wish I could trade my heart in for another liver. Then I could drink more and care less.

If you are going to say something about my drinking.the least you could do is get me another martini!

Well this is definitely me

don't let my looks deceive you. i have the mouth of a sailor, the temper of an italian housewife, and the the tolerance of an irish man. LOL truth x 100

This girl just started blogging about her adventures in finding the right man and it's hilarious!

Funny Flirting Ecard: Well hello there. you look like a bad decision, come on over here.

You can't put flowers in an asshole and call it a vase.

Don't make excuses for him. You can't put flowers in an asshole and call it a vase. Yep Steve is an asshole cheats on his live in girlfriend and talks bad about his ex wife.


There's no stronger sunscreen than sitting in a bar. you know know me know im crazy about my sunscreen!

I know a few like this... lol

Funny Friendship Ecard: The crazy bitch part is merely the admission price to the amazing amusement park that is me.