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That'll teach them!

Why I Love Scrambled Eggs

Yes, my baby birds died.but I couldn't help but giggle at this. Baby birds don't poop on cars, only in the nest :)

{i can't help but LOL at this. i said that when i bought my first hair dryer that had a tag attached saying: 'Do not use while showering or in bathup with water.' That was late 80's. Now they have a bigger list. Don't parents teach common seense things anymore?}

Applying Darwinism to the human race: Let's remove the warning labels and let everything sort itself out!

So true. Straight to the point. makes-me-chuckle

I hate voicemails. I don't have a voicemail box for this reason. Either text me or I'll see that you called and call back when I get a chance.

This is what my life was composed of. My dad acting on protection and my mom on beauty. Who knew they go hand in hand?

Lesson in Womanhood: "You are only helpless while your nail polish is wet. Even then, you could pull a trigger if you had to.

Gtfo

fit quote: dear extra fat in my body, you have 2 options. make your way to my boobs, or gtfo.

Funny Confession Ecard: Raisin oatmeal cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.

Funny Confession Ecard: Raisin oatmeal cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.

BAHAHA!!

One day, when I am a mother, I will replace "put away your laundry" with many things and put these all over the house. Also, maybe a few that say "love, your wife.

Then I cry out in pain!  My brain forgets that my body was never trained as a ninja.  :-)

So true.if only I could get out of bed when I wake up on time

calories (noun) - tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.

Scientists have been lying to us for years. Here is the real definition of calories. Scientists have been lying to us for years. Here is the real definition of calories. Scientists have been lying to us for years. Here is the real definition of calories.

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