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Why havent I come up with this excu

Great way to be "safe"

For all the Single Christian Girls who are waiting on God's special timing for them...

Funny Confession Ecard: No I am not single. I am in a long distance relationship because my boyfriend lives in the future. (My Life)

No, bitch, it's not. I'm sorry that we can't carry both Pepsi AND coke products. Maybe I should just give you what we have and laugh on the inside when you can't tell the difference. If you've never been a server, shut the hell up.

{'I'd like a Diet Coke please.' 'Is Diet Pepsi okay?' 'Is Monoply money okay?'} My feelings exactly

Funny Friendship Ecard: I just rescued some wine. It was trapped in a bottle. I saved the day!  <3 @Alexis Southward

Save the day, rescue wine

Hilarious!!

Sometimes I think, 'Screw this. I'll just be a stripper!' Then I remember I'm fat. and can't dance. OK so I would never be a stripper but I love it!

I have selective OCD..... I haven't vacuumed in 2 weeks, but don't you dare get my silverware drawer out of order.

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I have selective OCD. I haven't vacuumed in 2 weeks, but don't you dare get my silverware drawer out of order.

#SOMEECARDS #YOUR E CARDS #JOKE SARCASM CARTOON CARD

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: Everyone around me seems to be getting married and having babies, and I'm just sitting here like. I like wine and uninterrupted sleep.

Funny: I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly grapes actually. Ok, all grapes. I'm having wine for dinner.

I enjoy a glass of win each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Too funny, but mine should say.the rest of the bottle is for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves!

OMG can you imagine the things that might be said???!!!! ROFL

Funny Weekend Ecard: It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more vodka.

Thanks to my cousin for this!

Strong people need strong drinks

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Can I list "Speaks Cursive" on my resume?

Hehe

Free, Confession Ecard: Oh Hell. It is officially boob sweat season.

Just "tipsy"

Funny Reminders Ecard: Stop telling me drinking ain't cute. I ain't trying to be cute, bitch. I'm trying to get drunk.

If you have to ask if it is too early to drink wine... you're an amateur and we probably shouldn't be friends. @abbey Twyman

So true. Phillips-Barton a Farme / Anne Hermansen

LOL! So true with house full of kids! #motherhood #parenthood #lifewithkids

Mondays have you down? Watch an episode of hoarders and it will make you feel better about your house.

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