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true!

Says my husband to me.I love you so much. Except when you snore and then I just want to punch you in the face.

Roses are dead, violets are fine, this day sucks balls I really love wine.

Free, Valentine's Day Ecard: Roses are dead, violets are fine, this day sucks balls I really love wine

When you're driving and realize you're lost, so you turn down the music like 'Shhh, Luke Bryan. I can't shake it for you right now, I'm lost'.

When you're driving and realize you're lost, so you turn down the music like 'Shhh, Luke Bryan. I can't shake it for you right now, I'm lost'. Not the lost part but the I can't shake it right now lol

Yes, and cookies, brownies and anything else covered, smothered, dipped, dunked, infused, injected, topped, candied or baked with chocolate!

I wish cake went straight to my boobs.I am laughing so hard, but really I do lol

Decision time. Do I remain mad at my husband or forget he pissed me off so I can snuggle up to him for warmth?  Omg makes me laugh! I always let it go ! I need his warmth & love! Lmao!! :)

The Warrior Diet

Do I remain mad at my husband or forget he pissed me off so I can snuggle up to him for warmth? The Warrior diet!

Almost 7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate around 10 at the most.

Almost 7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate around 10 at the most. and that's pushing it!

Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill and not doing it because you'd miss them!

Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill & not doing it because you'd miss them! -- so us haha

If there's enough room to spell "BOOTYLICIOUS" on the back of your shorts, it probably isn't. Ecard

Funny Encouragement Ecard: If there's enough room to spell 'BOOTYLICIOUS' on the back of your shorts, it probably isn't.

No lunch for me. I'm on a new diet called, 'I have Five Dollars till Friday.'

food budget before kids: buy ALL the food! food budget after kids: well maybe I can just buy of the food and exist on crackers

"I'm simultaneously the nicest and meanest person you'll ever meet."

I'm simultaneously the nicest and meanest person you'll ever meet. LOL, this describes me in some ways!

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