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Don't count sheep. Instead consider the fact that the Earth is so massive that it is pulling your head onto your pillow.

Don’t count sheep. Instead consider the fact that the Earth is so massive that it is pulling your head onto your pillow.

Checking my voicemail is like checking my son's diaper, it's usually some shit I don't want to deal with.

Checking my voicemail is like checking my son's diaper, it's usually some shit I don't want to deal with.

Plot holes, too many characters, confusing chronological jumps, and an unsatisfying conclusion: LOST and my wife's stories.

Plot holes, too many characters, confusing chronological jumps, and an unsatisfying conclusion: LOST and my wife's stories.

Cubicles Ruin Everything About Me. C.R.E.A.M. Get the money. Shattered, shattered dreams y'all.

Cubicles Ruin Everything About Me. Get the money.

You have humanity's entire knowledge at your fingertips and you're looking at a doodle some guy drew in MS Paint.

You have humanity's entire knowledge at your fingertips and you're looking at a doodle some guy drew in MS Paint.

I love how Simba acts sad when Mufasa dies as if he didn't perform a choreographed musical number called "I Just Can't Wait To Be King"

I love how Simba acts sad when Mufasa dies as if he didn't perform a choreographed musical number called "I Just Can't Wait To Be King"

#womansmarchlondon

#womansmarchlondon

Goodbye cruel world. I've had "Let It Go" in my head for weeks and can't take the irony of the fact that I can't let it g... *gunshot*

Goodbye cruel world. I've had "Let It Go" in my head for weeks and can't take the irony of the fact that I can't let it g.

"What's that bird thinking?"

The Sneaky Hate Spiral ~ Sometimes, you just gotta indulge your ragey psychotic war-machine of a body. Thank you, Hyperbole and a Half.

Steven Humour: Funny Ecards - 46 Pics

I'm gonna place you on hold, then tell my coworkers how much of a dumbass you are. As an ex-BT Directories Enquiry Operator, this isn't paranoia they actually do it!

Ohhhh... the next time someone replies with "K" Im gonna let loose on them! even "Ok" is perfectly fine and acceptable... and really how much more time does it take to type and "O" before the "k"?!?!?!?

my ultimate pet peeve: when people respond "K". Also, if you knew me, you would know that if I'm ever mad, I will respond "K". go internal processing!

Ha! True!

SnarkEcards: I knew I wasn't cut out for working in an office when I discovered it was unacceptable to just sit around with my pants off and drink a margarita.

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