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I have a t-shirt that says this, and i wear it to work ALL THE TIME!!

ATTENTION: everyone please take this to heart. Sometimes I go to repin a tacky ecard, but then think, "no, I might be judged for this one" so I decide to be a lady and not pin it... Well no more! I mean, it's just an ecard and we should all admit they're funny ;)

Oh wait, there is no cure for narcissistic personality disorder...

I'm calling in sick today. I'm suffering from anal glaucoma which means I can't see my ass going to work today.