Explore Captain Morgan Drinks, Blunt Cards, and more!

bahahaha

I didn't text you. My friend Captain Morgan did.- hah I dont drink rum but I have some friends that can relate to this.

Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap. Same calories, cleaner kitchen!

Funny Seasonal Ecard: Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap.

Funny Confession Ecard: Good friends discuss their sex lives. Best friends talk about poop.

Funny Confession Ecard: Good friends discuss their sex lives. Best friends talk about poop. (Bestest friends talk about both!

Funny Confession Ecard: When I go out in public looking like crap I throw on a pair of tennis shoes hoping that everyone will assume I've been working out.

Exactly how I do it. Put on gym clothes (sports bra, comfy shorts and tennis shoes).

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. | Cry For Help Ecard | someecards.com

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. And the answer is YES!

I talk a lot about tequila, drinking and having a good time. I could count on my fingers alone the number of times I've actually had a drink so far this year. (Need the fingers to help me count; sure can't do it in my head... too stoned.) Just kidding. LOL!

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: We're not alcoholics. We generally only drink on the weekends. Except for special occasions. And boredom. And Thursdays. Which some people consider weekends.

Omg... I dealt with it from Sat until Tues.. No more!!! I have dogs that freak and kids trying to stay asleep all night long!!! Ughhh

Funny Seasonal Ecard: This summer, all I want is a day or four where we just sit outside and drink all day, is that too much to ask for? And its gonna happen very soon!

wine nights are the best nights

Funny Confession Ecard: I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly grapes actually. Ok, all grapes. I'm having wine for dinner.

...the reason I have no friends...lol

Funny Confession Ecard: Im not anti-social. I just have a strong aversion to B., drama, and pretending. makes-me-laugh-quotes

Pinterest
Search