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true story.

Free and Funny Flirting Ecard: I'm sorry I was a hateful, foul mouthed, binge eating maniac this week. But now that I've got my period, hold me & tell me I'm pretty.

Love it when kids say EWWWWW, I pushed you out of my vagina covered inm y inside YOU are EWWWWW

The Joke’s on Mom

I love it when I do something and my kid goes "ewwwwww mommy". Um child - I pushed you out of my vagina covered with all my insides. You are "eww".

Do you buy your pants on sale? Because at my house they would be 100% off.

the lesbian couple that live a block or two over who have the landscaping that i love - one of their cars is COVERED in bumper stickers.so so funny! one of us is going to need to buy an electric car and get a bunch of bumper stickers.

Always there for me...@hollye

I don't often talk shit about people and if I do its usually things I've said to their face but it still would be GREAT to have a friend like this! Who's signing up to be that friend?

I love how coffee tricks me into think I'm in a good mood for about 27 minutes

I love how coffee tricks me into thinking I'm in a good mood for about 27 minutes. Dump A Day Funny Pictures Of The Day - 90 Pics

I'm glad we broke up...now I can tell everyone you fart during orgasm, and how you're a major queef-bag.

Free and Funny Sports Ecard: I ate healthy and excercised today. I better fucken wake up skinny.

funny pictures - funny quotes - I just ran my first marathon this morning

Just kidding I'm on my cupcake. Just kidding I hate cupcakes. Just kidding I live for cupcakes. Just kidding I live for veggies. Just kidding veggies make me sick. Just kidding millennials make me sick.

London Eye - I crossed this off my list in 2005 with one of my best friends in the world.

Free and Funny Friendship Ecard: Bring on the warmer temperatures! Oh wait. I'm too fat for summer right now.

Thanks for saying my face looks like I'm ill with no makeup

Today I didn't wear makeup. Four people asked me if I was feeling okay.Thanks for thinking my real face looks like I am physically ill.

Revised: The real list of things that men do to annoy women ...

Revised: The real list of things that men do to annoy women

"A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house." Although mine usually does clean the house too:)

18, but close enough.

weekend open post. What's on your mind?

I feel like a failure! I've been shopping for 20 years and I still don't have anything to wear. (Mainly because Eubanks takes all my clothes!

Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap. Same calories, cleaner kitchen!

Funny Seasonal Ecard: Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap.

Photo: It's FUCKING FRIDAY....

Funny Friendship Ecard: Its too bad that, even at our age, were not mature enough to meet for A drink because it will somehow turn into 7 drinks, 5

Online dating ...

If Mommy is a nurse this is so true. If Mommy is a nurse this is so true. If Mommy is a nurse this is so true.

This is a great idea! Friday's just got more productive -- or at least it looks that way on our to do list.

I actually do this!didn't realize this was an OCD thing. I thought it was common sense. I thought everybody did!

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