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Just take off the fedora. There's maximum of 10 people who look good in them and you aren't one if them.

The sad, sad, truth. But that second picture just cracks me up!

I HAD A STAPLER WITH A MAG IN IT AT MY DESK JOB. I FELT LIKE A BADASS. LOOK OUT INSURANCE QUOTES. IMMA STAPLE YOU!!!!

"When people ask me 'How did you get so creative?' I tell them 'Because I ate paste as a child" #craft #humor

The Glorious moment when you're cutting wrapping paper and the scissors start to glide. #MerryChristmas

"When someone walks past and they smell really nice. /// When someone walks past and they smell like crazy cat lady's litter box" haha

Sydney! Dane cook "and the shark grabbed my leg. Well how did you get away? Well I punched him and he ahh let me go! So your telling me a you punched a great white shark and the fucking shark goes ALRIGHTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

I said this to Pat the other night and his response was "I'm pretty sure you didn't actually find that funny..."

OMG!!! That's so me when I don't have my glasses on...

i facepalmed...with my head in my keyboard...over and over and over again..

You love it the first couple times... Until you forget what summer was like and you want it back again.

I have a huge, horrible case of this. People come up and ask me if I'm okay... All the time.