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The dog always dies. Go to the library and pick out a book with an award sticker and a dog on the cover. Trust me, that dog is going down.

It's just the most amazing thing to love a dog, isn't it? It makes our relationships with people seem as boring as a bowl of oatmeal.

People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you can have that in your life, things won't be too bad.

Sometimes I think I like dogs more than I like humans. The only time a dog has ever betrayed me... was by dying.

We love dogs and eat cows not because dogs and cows are fundamentally different--cows, like dogs, have feelings, preferences, and consciousness--but because our perception of them is different.

I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren’t certain we knew better. They fight for honor at the first challenge, make love with no moral restraint, and they do not for all their marvelous instincts appear to know about death. Being such wonderfully uncomplicated beings, they need us to do their worrying.

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that's lost--he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home, his face might burn up.