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funny joke: u say: OMG DID U HEAR?? some actress got accosted in central park!! Yah like... uh blonde? Shes really famous!! I think she was stabbed!! Uh.. Reese something? they say: Witherspoon? u say: No! With a knife probably :)

I love Ellen and her show, and nearly every one of these tweets made me laugh.

I get scared when I have to sneeze while driving.

Hit And Run Driver Leaves Courteous Note About Screwing You Over | Happy Place

Someday, I will own a coffee shop in downtown Chattanooga or similar, and I will hang this on the wall so everyone who rushes through in the morning on the way to the office may stop and read it and have a smile to start their day.

First, it's the laptop. After that, it's the iPad, then the iPod. This is my hubby and I... almost every night!

Every girl on Pinterest needs a crockpot, a rolling pin, a bigger closet and a sugar daddy.

WHY can't PINTEREST be my job? I'm so good at it. @ Heidi McCracken

Been saying that since I started pinning. Based on pins, we either weigh 400 pounds or live in the gym :)

Hahahaaa. I LOVE this story, and my 19 year old daughter does, too. One of my last real "discussions" in the classroom involved a statement I made about having to "get out the sewing machine last night"..... A student (several) thought I was just being stupid (Science-fictiony) w/them... Had NEVER seen or heard of a sewing machine..... and we're in GEORGIA.....