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My thoughts exactly.If your thighs touch, you're one step closer to being a mermaid, so who's the real winner here?

thick thighs pretty eyes - Google Search

thick thighs pretty eyes - Google Search

My friend. When you laugh, I laugh. When you cry, I cry. When you jump off of a bridge, I get in a boat and come save your reta.

forget phone calls, emails and texts.

Let's Not Cry Over Spilled Beer

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: Spilling a full beer you paid for is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon

Life isn't a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight you might want to slow down on the tequila.

Funny Drinking Ecard: Life isn't a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight you might want to slow down on the tequila.

Pit Bull Chat With Vera Silva Coughlan

Everyone is having babies and I'm over here like, "Look at these 500 pictures of my dog." Look at these 500 pictures of my dog.

Everyone's all like, 'This wine pairs well with goat cheese and seafood.' And I'm over here like, 'which one pairs well with pizza rolls?'

Everyone's all like, 'This wine pairs well with goat cheese and seafood.' And I'm over here like, 'which one pairs well with pizza rolls?' Henegar Except i would change it to what pairs well with spray cheese and crackers hahaha

No Boyfriend November was a hit. Following it up with Dateless December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Man March, etc...

Free and Funny Sports Ecard: I ate healthy and excercised today. I better fucken wake up skinny.

Funny Confession Ecard: Good friends discuss their sex lives. Best friends talk about poop.

Funny Confession Ecard: Good friends discuss their sex lives. Best friends talk about poop. (Bestest friends talk about both!

Dallas FitBody BootCamp: The ONLY *indoor* bootcamp in Dallas! Action packed classes are only 30 minutes of fat melting and body toning that anyone can fit into their day! ----- Please visit us at: wwww.facebook.com/dallasfitbodybootcamp to start changing your health, fitness and life for the better!

Ok, true eating disorders, and their horrific and tragic effects on those I know and love, aside. This is pretty damn funny

Let me get this straight you eat plucked de-boned carcasses that have had the blood drained out of them and you think that veganism is unnatural?  Go vegan Ⓥ

For my long distance besties!

Funny writer lol

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I'm a writer. If I'm staring at you, I'm not being rude. I'm trying to decide if you need to go in a book. If you're a snot, I may be trying to decide how to kill you.

London Eye - I crossed this off my list in 2005 with one of my best friends in the world.

umbrella by Marco Pece

Free and Funny Friendship Ecard: Bring on the warmer temperatures! Oh wait. I'm too fat for summer right now.

being an introvert | The Advantages of Being An Introvert: Part 4

The Advantages of Being An Introvert: Part 4

'Girls: "I like to hang out with guys 'cause there is no drama." Me: "I like to hang out by myself because there is NO drama & I don't have to wear pants."' YUP das me

My true friends know this about me ;)

Real Friends crop photos :) So true!

Yes, i'll take one scoop of "my diet starts tomorrow"

I'm going to open an ice cream shop and name the flavors things like: dont be sad, he's not worth it, you deserve better. That would be awesome!

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