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Good story (even if it was read off the bathroom wall lol)

How..? - Hey. Hey, Michael, careful. There's an ice cream dealer in the men's bathroom. He has some bullshit bargains, though. Don't ask how I know. *sinks into shadows*

" anyone else like my Pepe-roni-pizza?"

"I take a picture of my hair straightener on my way out the door so I can look at it later and know it's off"