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Wise Quotes From George Carlin: "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid"

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Oh, you hate your job? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar — George Carlin

Good comeback

how do you start business, how start business, to start a small business - Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business .lmfao I would love to have a sign so all my neighbors can see it.

Dear God,    Why did you make Alabama have such crazy weather?    Josh    P.S. Get rid of Winter and make it Summertime all year long. I need to go swimming!

Dear God letters from kids. My fav: Dear God thank you for the baby brother but I prayed for a puppy. They are all so sweet and funny :)

Today's Modern Woman - Clean house. Healthy dinner on the table (at dinnertime). Fit, trim & well-groomed. Works full-time. Laundry done and put away. Great sex life. . . Pick any two.

Today's modern woman * Clean house * Healthy dinner on the table (at dinnertime) * Fit, trim & well-groomed * Works full time * Laundry done & put away * Great sex life * . pick any two

Grammar police!

Grammar police!

Ain't that the truth. I once got the giggles in a crowded movie theatre during Michael Keaton's death scene in My Life. After getting angry because someone's beeper was going off, I realized it was mine, totally muffled, inside my purse. I had to get up & leave I was laughing so hard.

Mom and I would crack up laughing at the worst times. We might have been in church laughing or in a restaurant or movie. Mom was so fun and gullible. I miss her huge smile and her ability to laugh nonstop until our stomach hurt

This is exactly what I do at Target. I love Target.

everytime I go, I get the 1 thing I DID need and a whole wallet full of random stuff.

HA! Triple check ✔✔✔

She'd be "the Mom! and not only smarter than Dad . smarter than any of Dad's friends too!

Lesson Learned should of listened to all of my normal friends who hated her!! haha

This was definitely a hard one for me to learn! But I am definitely better off after learning it!

funny quotes quotes - Click image to find more Men's Fashion Pinterest pins

I Found the Vodka It Was Hiding in the Orange Juice Funny Plastic Sign Wall Sign

If his cleaning lady knew that I understand Spanish.....she wouldn't converse so openly on her cell. "The young, skinny one is very pretty and pleasant. But she has too many clothes." He-Larry-Us!!!

Large selection of Funny Tin Signs and Sayings ready to hang for fun wall decor for ideas for home or business. Add to your room a few funny tin signs or classic saying with a retro look.

why arent there more cary grants?

YES those were the real men and YES what did happen? hard to find a good looking man in tight fitting jeans anywhere let alone a suit and a good haircut.

The Future

Gotta love the Snuggie. :) oh, the Snuggie! The wrong number Snuggie texter has forever made me chuckle at the very mention of the infamous Snuggie.