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Here's a list of Facebook friends who want to know you are going to bed. (one of the reasons I don't HAVE a Facebook page anymore...)

I wish Facebook had a 'Nobody fucking cares, because you're a A. drama queen B. attention whore C. delusional bitch D. all of the above' button.

Thank you for updating Facebook again with what you ate for dinner... The suspense was killing me. ( I love the piano... Too funny)

Oh really, another Facebook status about you being sick? No one cares. In fact, I feel bad for the virus that is trapped inside of you.

She's crazy. And just when you think you've reached the bottom of her craziness, there's a crazy underground garage.

Funny Thinking of You Ecard: Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that caused the stress to begin with.

sorry that most of my hilarious jokes are borderline inappropriate. and by sorry, i mean you're welcome.