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He's over there all like "No Guns" and she's over here all like "No Weed!" and I'm over here all stones shootin the shit outta shit!

How can I smell your ass breath from across the room, yet you can't smell it from under your lip? Get some tic tacks please!

How can I smell your ass breath from across the room, yet you can't smell it from under your lip? Get some tic tacks please!

Yum! Haha!

Yum! Haha!

The joys of getting old.

The joys of getting old.

I like worms but I've discovered that they stick around all day long so I'll be sleeping in.

I like worms but I've discovered that they stick around all day long so I'll be sleeping in.

If that's your girl, ya better watch your back.. cuz she'll burn it up for me and that's a fact.  #sexy #funny #ecard

If that's your girl, ya better watch your back.. cuz she'll burn it up for me and that's a fact. #sexy #funny #ecard

What if April Fool's Day is really April 2 and we've all been fooled this whole time?

What if April Fool's Day is really April 2 and we've all been fooled this whole time?

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