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I don't use it for that.

I'm sorry I didn't answer my phone when you called. I don't use it for that. Text me

LoL

I told my friend "before I die I want my last words to be 'I left a million dollars under the." I said "One minute, I have to die first." He said "oh, okay. How long will that take?" I replied "not really sure.

True!

I'd like the opportunity to provide winning the lottery won't ruin my life

22 Hilarious New Funny Quotes  #funnyquotes #sarcasm #hilariousquotes #snarkyquotes #snark

22 Hilarious New Funny Quotes -

22 Hilarious New Funny Quotes #funnyquotes #sarcasm #hilariousquotes #snarkyquotes #snark

Shock My Mind

Don’t try to explain yourself to stupid people. You're not the jackass whisperer.

You know you think this is funny!! I just want more than two sizes smaller!

Beautiful Primitives by Kathy 6"x8" Wooden Box Sign "Wouldn't It Be Great If.."

Wouldn't it be great . if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and two sizes smaller?

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