There is a very big difference between being bossy and assertive. Being assertive is a very big part of healthy communication and healthy communication is necessarily for building strong relationships and keeping stress at bay. Life is stressful enough with things we cannot control so it is wise to learn to manage well those that we can. Communication is one of them.
This is a Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skill that I have found to be useful for temporarily tolerating painful, stressful events and emotions. The idea is when you can’t make things better right away, you can distract temporarily yourself so it doesn’t overwhelm your entire system and sense of self. www.HealthyPlace.com