That is so important. Love is never deceitful. It isn't deceitful to your spouse. And it isn't deceitful to your children. If there is deceit in a relationship, it is not true love, rather it is self-serving and selfish for personal gain.
Amen "controllers, abusers and manipulative people don't question themselves. they don't ask themselves if the problem is them. they always say the problem is SOMEONE else" - so true for this narcissist who puts people on back burners!