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my thoughts exactly. "You find it offensive? I find it funny. That's why I'm happier than you!"

I miss being the age when I thought I'd have my shit together by the time I was the age I am now.

All I know is one of us is right and the other one is you.

Funny Baby Ecard: I think the saying shouldn't be 'I slept like a baby.' Let's change it to 'I slept like a husband.'

I'm not always right, but when I am it's usually all of the time.

Funny Confession Ecard: I don't tell you this often enough,but I'm better than you.

Funny Breakup Ecard: Lesson one: Only trust people who like big butts... They cannot lie.

Because sometimes I need to laugh when I'm home alone!

Funny Confession Ecard: To know me is to love the bitch in me.

Ha! Ha! Maybe if I put our vacuum on the kitchen table the cats would get the hint... spray bottles are not working.