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S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #288:In the instance that Tony Stark and Dr. Banner are in a room together with a grinning Clint Barton, it would be wise to exit said room. Especially if they are looking in your direction. [Submitted by writtenreadspoken]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #303:Observing ‘International Talk Like a Pirate Day’ is not permitted on S.H.I.E.L.D. premises or while involved in S.H.I.E.L.D. operations. [Submitted by greatest-kind-of-courage]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #499: Your S.H.I.E.L.D.-issue uniform is not to be modified except for the purpose of fit or weapon holsters. [Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #121:If you feel the need to mock reality television, feel free, but be extremely cautious as to who is in the vicinity. There are closet fans in the division who can make your life rather unpleasant.

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #342:Unless absolutely necessary, please refrain from ‘borrowing’ the Avengers’ auxiliary equipment. And even if it is absolutely necessary, return it at first opportunity.[Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #467: Everyone likes to hear a joke now and then, but if it’s so dirty that you wouldn’t dare tell it within earshot of any of the senior agents, then don’t even bother. [Submitted by Jojo]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #371:Drawing Sharpie portraits of Director Fury in any of the restroom stalls is unwise, as it is unlikely that he will appreciate them, especially the whole ‘fire breathing’ part. [Submitted anonymously]

S.H.I.E.L.D. Recruit Survival Tip #563: Play Gangnam Style at your own risk. Some people will happily join in, others will not react nearly ...