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I don't care what you think of me. Unless you think I'm awesome. In which case, you are correct.

I don't have a "honey-do" list. I have a "i'll freaking do it myself" list, and guess what? Shit gets done.

I swear if someone said that to me I wouldn't be able to be mad at them because I would be laughing too hard!

they should put more wine in a there's enough for two people.

Funny Friendship Ecard: We are at that point in our friendship where you should realize that we don't have one.

We look like we're being productive, but really, we're just talking shit about co-workers and how drunk we got this weekend.