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I'd take a NERF bullet for you

"Not a real bullet? She shakes her head "N-o, not a real bullet." she replies "I mean, who knows, maybe if the time comes around I might, but for now I would only take nerf bullet.

true..so i wear sweats instead..

"I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day." Oh my gosh. This is so me. I thought I was the only one!

K R i S P I N T E R I O R

Chocolate Is A Salad: Chocolate comes from cocoa. Cocoa is a tree. A Tree is a plant. Therefore, chocolate is a salad. Can't argue with that logic.

how will I die

I would like to think I will die a heroic death but it's more likely I'll trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting. [substitute "peanut butter" for frosting!

Why are iPhone chargers are not called apple juice? - #funny #LOL picture message @mobile9

Why are iPhone chargers not called apple juice?~ found this and thought it was funny because my charger is green and has juice written on it.now I understand haha

HAHAHAHAHA

The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in That means it only took 100 years for men to realize their brain is also important.

Real Shit..☮☮

"Life is too short to be serious all the time, so if you can't laugh at yourself, then call me.I'll laugh at you" - Unknown.

Cute

I don't think I can complete anyone. Driving someone insane sounds doable.

Best Friends Button by kohaku16 on Etsy

Definition of best friends. "You jump off a bridge, I'll get a boat and Save your retarded Butt"

"Solid friends" are but a few, most disappear in less successful times and become a mere acquaintance. True

Photo (The Good Vibe)

That's just too much!!

I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you can't have anymore food and I'm just never ready for that kind of commitment. THIS IS MY LIFE

Lol yep

Best LOL Humorous images AM, Tuesday April 2015 PDT) – 20 pics Although I actually like algebra!

For people who are sarcastic to the point where they can't even tell if they're kidding, or just a bitch.

When I saw this I thought of Syndrome from Incredibles. I thinking along the lines of, so you would marry Syndrome? Like, didn't he die? Why would this be a relatable thing people would pin? Anyway, I thought that was funny.

I have OCD & ADD So everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.

I have OCD & ADD So everything has to be perfect. but not for very long.

~Unknown

Intead of "Single" as a marital status, I prefer "Independently Owned & Operated"

The fact that I miss said person probably kind of makes me the idiot.... Bleh... Emotions suck. I miss my friend.

I miss you like an idiot misses the point.

I Miss You Like An Idiot Misses The Point. Brilliant Impression of an idiot." < so basicically Watson misses Sherlock about as much as Anderson is an idiot

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