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I do so many things well, none of which generate income.

Just because I have the vocabulary of a well educated sailor, doesn't mean I'm not a lady.

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: Some days, there comes a time when no matter what the question is, the answer is wine.

Social skills fail... This happens to me all the time. When someone says, "Hello!" And then i say, "Good! Thank you!"... -facepalm-

Ohhhhh honey...I am right there with you. If only I loved water more than food:)

As soon as this day is over I'm having a nervous breakdown. I've worked for it, I deserve it and no one is going to keep me from it!

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.

I'd be the Zuckerberg of snark, except I'd go public before I'd topped out the value, and I'd live a much more excessive lifestyle. Ok, bad example.

I hate the quotes on the pastel background, but this is so true. I never chase shots, and should really stop chasing men...

Whether you see your glass half-empty or half-full it doesnt matter. You did NOT pour enough wine into your glass. Start over.

We all have those days. today is one of those days

Whoever said 'nothing tastes as good as skinny feels' has clearly never had cupcakes. Or wine. Or chocolate. Or pizza.