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what a great pleasure it must be to have a friend as wonderful as me.....

The best thing about being in my 30's is that I did all of my stupid shit before the internet.

In alcohol's defense I've also done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too, like get married the second time.

I do so many things well, none of which generate income.

"pain makes you stronger. tears make you braver. a broken heart makes you wiser. and alcohol makes you not remember any of that crap."

The icing wasn't the only thing Betty liked to spread - vintage retro funny quote

Free, Confession Ecard: My hour-long workout playlist overshot my endurance level by 53 minutes.

I hope I never go to jail because I haven't memorized a phone number since 2001. | Confession Ecard | someecards.com