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you're a 10 on the ph scale maybe tee - Google Search

hahahahahaaha. Ladies it's that time of the year

what a great pleasure it must be to have a friend as wonderful as me.....

In alcohol's defense I've also done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too, like get married the second time.

The best thing about being in my 30's is that I did all of my stupid shit before the internet.

that moment when it looks sentimental and the BAM! hahaha

'Are we adults?' 'We’re adults, but, like…adult cats. Someone should probably take care of us, but we can sort of make it on our own'.

The icing wasn't the only thing Betty liked to spread - vintage retro funny quote

You're always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.

no one does the bitchface quite like Miss Scarlett O'Hara