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Nailed it. Literally.

Funny Confession Ecard: Im not a princess. I dont need saving. Im a freaking Queen. I got this shit handled.like a boss

Funny because I love Phantom of the Opera! I sing it to myself often.

Funny Friendship Ecard: That moment you and your best friend talk shit about another person telepathically.

Will cocktails be served at your daughter's princess party or shall I tailgate in your driveway? | Birthday Ecard | someecards.com

Funny Birthday Ecard: Will cocktails be served at your daughter's princess party or shall I tailgate in your driveway?

This is so me!!!! Good thing my hubby knows how rare of a gem I am....lol

Funny Confession Ecard: I can't cook & hate to clean, but I'm certain my expertise in sarcasm & raiding the Target clearance section makes me a rare gem. This is me.

To the dbags that think it is fun to destroy other people's property by doing donuts on our landscaped lawn.

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: Forget about the zombie apocalypse that will never come. The real epidemic is the douchebag apocalypse that is already upon us.

How to get your way...

That suppressed inner bitch can, and WILL, come out if it needs to! But my god, shit will get done.

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Life Lately: Photo dump

I'm a firm believer in the idea that "silence is better than bullsh*t." If you're a true introvert, you value your solitude above all things, because

Everyone is having babies or getting married

Not that being married or having Children is a bad thing it is pretty awesome as well but just for those moments when I get that look ohhh your single . Hahah working and going to college is awesome too :)

If that aint the truth! - Click image to find more Humor Pinterest pins

I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.

... and a bottle of wine!

Wow, that food stamp card goes great with that coach purse and Escalade .

Glitter was a great idea; until you realized it's the Herpes of crafting supplies and now you cant get rid of it.

Glitter was a great idea; until you realized it's the Herpes of the crafting supplies and now you can't get rid of it. (I hate glitter.

Karma - Click image to find more  Pinterest pins

I don't just smile. I laugh like the crazy bitch I am. Funny Confession Ecard: Why yes, I do smile a little when karma pays a visit to someone who so desperately deserves it.

Lack of discipline is what this other kid has by all the things my daughter says about them..Things were so different when i was growing up.

Do Americans really want to beat their kids? Once upon a time, Mommies & Daddies could beat their kid's asses so they learned to respect others. But these days they can't and that's why so many people suck.

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