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funny quote based on how i react when toast pops out, i will never look cool walking away from an explosion. so me


I hate voicemails. I don't have a voicemail box for this reason. Either text me or I'll see that you called and call back when I get a chance.

The Sequence Of Discovering A Bruise…literally my life. I always have bruises.

I always have at least one mystery bruise. You have to poke it to see how much it hurts.you'd think you'd remember something that hurt that bad!

....My life about 2 weeks before my wedding! It was so chaotic & crazy,BUT our wedding couldn't have turned our more perfect and romantic thanks to all my hard work & planing :)

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. so true!

The only reason I check my voicemail is to get of the little icon on my screen.

Oh this is soooo true! Really need me, text me. The annoying icon is the only reason I check voicemail!


Blanket on - Too hot. Blanket off - Too cold. One leg out - Perfect. Until the demon from Paranormal Activity grabs your leg and drags you through the hall.

there is a person I would love to send this to. I mean I want her to know this is how I feel.

"I don't exactly hate you but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it." <--- Haha, I hate saying this but sometimes I feel this way towards some people!


This is so true. And I love that this is totally how most of my friends' stories start!

Actually, I did.....130 lbs is a tad skinny on a 6ft tall girl   Needed to put some meat on these bones!

Actually, I lbs is a tad skinny on a tall girl Needed to put some meat on these bones!

So me, Don't you think.................

that age funny quotes quote funny quote funny quotes humor Oh my goodness that's me.the fine line between professional and too comfortable I feel like this and I'm in HS

I'm a mother f%^&in ninja like that!

i may look calm but . I may look calm, but in my head We killed you three times. Your name isn't leatseatburgers i may look calm but I in my head We killed you three times Your name isn't leatseatburgers

yup.. its like eye candy every time I visit though :)

Philips Pure White LED Twinkling Glitter String 42" Chirstmas Snowman Decoration