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"Every time I had McDonald's as a kid, it was a victory. Every time I have it as an adult, it's a defeat."

"I took a nap. My son didn't."

"Whenever I'm doing my makeup one eye comes out looking like Gucci and the other one comes out looking like wal-mart "

My daughter is wearing her bra for the first time. I asked her was it comfortable and she said no. I told her welcome to womanhood...

My secret: I'm a Dr. and I send my nurse in to ask my patients symptoms. That way I can google the symptoms and suggested meds before seeing the patient.

I'm a waiter when I clean tables I take the untouched food into the back and eat it because I can't afford food 😞

Whisper App. wowww so needed to read this.. thank you so much .. it helped me to believe in myself ..to get up from where i have fallen and start wlaking again.

Where were you between 5 and 6? Kindergarten.