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It's not the size of the boat nor the motion in the ocean, it's whether or not the captain can stay in port long enough for all the passengers to get off.

Lord give me patience . . . Because, if you give me strength, I'm gonna need bail money to go with it.

I wish fire trucks and ambulances played 'Move Bitch, Get Out The Way' instead of using sirens.

Grumpy Pants

Funny Courtesy Hello Ecard: Well, aren't we just 2 scoops of grumpy in a bowl full of bitchy this morning?

OH MY WORD! This is one of my biggest pet peeves EVER. And you better believe it baby......I won't let you in!!!!!!!

Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill and not doing it because you'd miss them!