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Funny Confession Ecard: Just because you put a pretty shirt over your muffin top does not make it a cupcake. Isn't this the truth!

New diet plan!

With my new diet I'm hoping to reach my original weight of funny thing is that was my weight when I was born

Jehovah’s witnesses don’t celebrate Halloween….I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming up to their doors.

M<3

I thought of you today. I also threw up in my mouth a little. I'm sure it was just a coincidence. Yep, every time I think of him, gross! Wtf was I thinking!

HAHA

6 Emotions Every Couple Experiences While Planning Their Wedding

"Money can't buy happiness, but I'd cheer up much faster sipping a margarita on the beach outside of my oceanfront mansion." - Funny but slightly true.

hahahaha

Funny Confession Ecard: I hate when I'm singing a song and someone corrects me. I'm like 'Bitch, what if I was freestyling.

Actually, I like being pale. I don't need to look like a worn out leather handbag to feel good about myself. (HA! I've been saying this for years!)

Mom had skin cancer. Grandpa died of skin cancer. That means I am at high risk for melanoma. In my opinion, pale is better than cancer.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say 'I would do anything for love.' On the back 'But I won't do that.

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