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This has happened to me and it is so true!!

actually, I think it means you're an introvert. I LOVE cancelled plans.

Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap. Same calories, cleaner kitchen!

Funny Seasonal Ecard: Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap.

And all the people said, Amen!

Funny Christmas Season Ecard: It just isn't Christmas unless you push your body to the brink of alcholism and diabetes.

Bhahahahaha!! You both are fucking retards! The apple doesn't fall far from the tree :)

Free and Funny Friendship Ecard: I know you're my best friend because I'd shank a bitch for you.

...the reason I have no friends...lol

Funny Confession Ecard: Im not anti-social. I just have a strong aversion to B., drama, and pretending. makes-me-laugh-quotes

Hoping my New Years Resolution will change my mind...lol

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I LOVE EXERCISE! Just not as much as I love wine. or my friends. or sitting on my ass. or a combination of any of the above.never mind.

Dear sweatpants

Funny Confession Ecard: Dear, sweatpants hoodies, Thanks for being there for me. Sincerely, Sexy I know it, but too Lazy to show it.

Thanks for saying my face looks like I'm ill with no makeup

Today I didn't wear makeup. Four people asked me if I was feeling okay.Thanks for thinking my real face looks like I am physically ill.

Do tell me. Do you often suffer nose bleeds from up there on your high horse?

Funny Friendship Ecard: Excuse me, could you shut the fuck up? This is my favorite part of the song.

OMG..bahahahah

I am grumpy...want to see something funny! - Page 2

I love it when I do something and my kid goes "ewwwwww mommy". Um child - I pushed you out of my vagina covered with all my insides. You are "eww".

Food brings me the comfort and happiness I cant seem to find in life lol

My life is constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to get fat.

I do!

Public toilet = flush with foot. I always use my foot to flush ALWAyS in public bathrooms

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