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Yep- when my husband isn't at home, that's so me!

If people could hear the five seconds after we hit end call, we would all have no friends.

I just want to let you know that if you ever need to have a plant killed, I'm the person to do that job.

Funny Seasonal Ecard: Love that its summer. Hate that I have to shave my legs all the time now.

That awkward moment when you realize they weren't waving at your.

My diet can best be described as, 'unchaperoned child at a birthday party.'

Funny Breakup Ecard: Here's all your bullshit back. I dont need it anymore.

I'm really not snobby or antisocial. I just don't like half the people I meet. If I talk to you feel privileged.

Who was the 1st lady to shave her legs & instill in us that hairy legs are gross???? It's her fault we must have hairless legs!!!

They say if you you really want to know a person, look at their pinterest board. I say if you really really want to know a person, check out what they liked. You guys are some kinky bitches, keep up the good work.

Been saying that since I started pinning. Based on pins, we either weigh 400 pounds or live in the gym :)